


a persistence in memory

by lingeringdust



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s05e22 Swan Song, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-20
Updated: 2014-11-20
Packaged: 2018-02-26 09:58:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2647736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lingeringdust/pseuds/lingeringdust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, Cas buys pie for the sake of remembering. AU where Sam and Dean died post-Swan Song. introspection.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a persistence in memory

Sometimes, Castiel eats pie.

*

Today, it’s warm and flaky and melts in his mouth. The apples are slightly too tart and there’s too much cinnamon to cover up the taste, but if he closes his eyes and leans back into the faux red leather of the diner booth, he can feel Dean’s elbows padded with the thick cargo jacket that he always wears, nudging into his sides like quick jabs of needles akin to when a baby needs their shots. Sam, sitting as comfortable as possible across the booth, would be shaking his hair, long brown hair hitting against his forehead, and then he would just silence himself with a forkful of salad.

Castiel finishes the pie.

There are no trees when Castiel glances out the windows. It’s rather disappointing to see nothing but slabs of concrete rushing by seventy miles per hour in a small hunk of metal. He turns to face the driver from his position in the middle of the backseat. Short cropped dirty blonde hair, broad shoulders covered in the familiar blood red leather jacket, and an arm, hanging lazily out the window while his fingers tap to classic rock music.

But the driver’s eyes are blue and not green and the model of the car is a Ford and not a Chevy.

Castiel leaves; only the sound of fluttering feathers descends over the patchwork of old leather in the back of the car seat. The driver looks back and sees nothing.

*

The park bench is a familiar sight. It’s old and worn to the bone, red paint slowly peeling away from its third coat since Castiel has last seen it.

He sits.

The old wood creaks from underneath his weight even though it shouldn’t. He leans back and turns to look at the other bench, remembers Dean’s back pressed against the other bench, leaning as nonchalantly as possible, unafraid of the inhuman and powerful creature next to him.

Children laugh as they pass by. Parents’ eyes glaze right over him.

There’s only one bench left when he comes back and it’s been painted a blue color. He’s not sure if he likes it.

*

Castiel visits cars, if only for the familiarity of the confined and compressed metal. It’s uncomfortable but it reminds Castiel of the happier times.

The cars he chooses are almost always black and old and run down but lovingly cared for. The drivers he almost always chooses to watch are dirty blonde or have green eyes and strong hands. Or both if he’s lucky.

He goes back to the diner. They’ve only been to it once and he doubts that neither Sam nor Dean will remember it, but it’s his favorite.

He has apple pie again. The second time is much better. It’s less sticky and the flavors balance on the flaky crust. It’s almost delicate and if Dean were here, Castiel imagines that he would say it tastes like heaven.

Castiel takes another bite and smiles. Maybe it does.

He gets up after finishing the entire pie. He can’t feel hungry or full, but he can taste it. Feet shuffling across the tiled floors, he lingers for a while. He doesn’t want to leave, not when—if he closes his eyes—he can feel Dean’s presence next to him, nudging playfully and then—a strong warm hand on his left shoulder, patting, spreading warmth throughout his vessel and down—down—down to his very ethereal core.

His Grace.

The waitress asks if he would like anything else. He nods and asks for another pie, to go please, and can it be apple again?

He eats it on the way out.

*

The diner is gone when he next visits. In its place is a brand new fuel station. The words have changed and they taste foreign on his tongue.

He hates it.


End file.
